


The Baby Band

by why_me_why_not



Category: Bandom, The Used
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-04-29
Updated: 2011-04-29
Packaged: 2017-10-18 19:02:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/192205
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/why_me_why_not/pseuds/why_me_why_not
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bert meets the boys from Drive A for the first time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Baby Band

**Author's Note:**

  * For [jackiesjunkie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/jackiesjunkie/gifts).



"Oh my god, Quinn, they're _babies_!" Bert clapped his hands delightedly, much like the overgrown child he was. Well, overgrown was maybe the wrong word. The kids in the opening band for their new tour were bigger than Bert. "Are they even _legal_?"

Quinn rolled his eyes - it's not like they handpicked the band as a present for Bert - but it was more fondness than anything else. He was about to point out that legal or not, _they_ were more than old enough to speak for themselves and that Bert should ask for himself, but Bert was already headed in that direction.

"Don't molest the new kids!" Jeph called as he walked up behind Quinn.

" _Are_ they legal?" Quinn asked.

Jeph shrugged. "Maybe? Most of 'em, I think. Don't tell Bert that, though." He nudged Quinn forward. "C'mon, let's go intervene before he invites them to sleep on the floor of our buses."

Bert saw them coming and wrapped his arms around one of the boys in a sideways kind of hug, a manic look of love in his eyes that made Quinn want to laugh almost as much as the "oh fuck save me" look on the boy's face did.

"Quinn, Jepharee, this is Bruno and we're keeping him. He's _adorable_. Listen to him talk." He waited expectantly and the kid - Bruno, apparently - finally said, "Um, hi," which Quinn didn't find particularly adorable or out of the ordinary, but whatever, Bert was weird and Quinn was used to it. And he didn't all that much care about how the kid talked, as long as he wasn't talking shit about Quinn and his band.

Bert seemed to be waiting on something, so Quinn said, "We can keep him for the _entire tour_ , maybe even two if you're good."

Bert grinned and released his hold on Bruno, who quickly took a step away. Quinn figured that by the end of the week, he'd be accustomed to Bert's overly affectionate nature, just like everyone else they'd ever toured with. And if not... well, they were kinda small. If they were still resisting his hugs by the second week of tour, he'd probably hold them down and kiss them until they promised him dinner or blow jobs, whichever came first.

"So anyway," Bert said, as if Quinn and Jeph had interrupted something by coming over, "the van is small; you don't need all that shit! Clean underwear, condoms, case of water." He threw his arm around one of the other boys, and Quinn noticed he was doing that thing where he was standing on the curb to make himself appear taller than he actually was. "And if you feel homesick, I may have an extra bunk in my bus, for the right price."

"Bert." Jeph was the voice of reason more and more these days, so Quinn let him have at it. "No molesting our new tour mates."

"I promise, any molestation will be consensual! There will be no lawsuits or sexual harassment charges filed this time around!" Bert's look of faked innocence was too familiar to work on Quinn or Jeph. Quinn wasn't sure why he still even bothered. Even the kids didn't seem to believe it.

Quinn decided it was definitely going to be an interesting tour.


End file.
